My Covid-19 Begins

Brain injury is an isolating injury; the fatigue can build up to the point you have no choice but plant yourself on the couch for a couple of weeks. So I’ve had plenty of “self-isolations.”

Welcome all! Like many of us with brain injury, most of you don’t actually have the plague but no one wants to see you except the persons paid to look after your health.

This one begins with me exhausted to the point my skin feels like it has minor road rash all over, my muscles feel thinned, my memory fails mid-sentence, my brain balks. I had to abstain from reading for a week. I tried to read this past Saturday; my brain laughed uproariously then went, “Nope.” Today I read one chapter of These Vengeful Souls. I was happy and relieved I’d regained just enough energy to do so.

Reading activity screenshot Vengeful Souls

I got to this point because I haven’t had a chance to recover properly since November’s NaNoWriMo. I began to recover from it, when another thing came up. Then another. I’d start to recover. Then another thing. Went on for months like that. Occasionally I’d get a chance to rest up for a planned big thing. By the time Brain Storm completed its awesome run last weekend, I was spent.

But like the rest of the world, I had to prepare for covid-19. I couldn’t rest. I had to shop and stock up. Nope, not toilet paper. Fruit. And milk. And bread. I forgot pens.

My energy dropped into the basement. But I can’t rest properly, for like the rest of the world, I have to wash my hands thoroughly, clean everything, do more laundry than usual. Exhaustion doesn’t cover it.

I thought this would be for two weeks. But it’s starting to sound like it’ll be mid-May, so more like 8 weeks. For once, the outside world won’t be pressuring me to return to my routine, pressuring through desire to be part of society, to see the usual suspects, to try and keep up with blogging and such. Instead the outside world is keeping me company. Wow. For once, brain injury isolation from fatigue and rejection dovetails with the rest of society’s goals. And now alone in my home, the world is with me. Suddenly, it ain’t so bad.

I’m going to take my time recovering from the past few months. I’m socially distancing myself. I’m going to read. Really read. And I will ponder my life when my energy returns to normal.

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