Data don’t lie; you can’t hide from data. Mid-August my gamma brainwaves had dropped, my ever-spinning busy brain, heart rate, and muscle tension risen. Then my Pastor helped me make a necessary decision, and all my brainwaves returned to my normal the first week of September. I learnt a hard lesson about social media and…
Tag: Brain injury
Gamma Brainwave Training and Emotions in PTSD and Brain Injury
Two weeks ago, my biofeedback trainer re-assessed my brain at the PZ-O1 position — left back of skull. Last week we continued gamma brainwave biofeedback training at that position and will do so for ten sessions total. And then re-assess. Relief. My gamma was unusually low last week. It finally rose to my normal above-1.0…
Seek, Ask, Bug, Nag, and You May Get Mental Health Help
Awhile ago, I was informed that I lived in the Mecca of mental health services: Toronto. There are 700 psychiatrists at the University of Toronto alone plus community psychiatrists, too few OHIP-covered psychologists and social workers, and a plethora of private-pay therapists in this city. These are in number completely inadequate to meeting the mental…
PTSD, Getting Real, and the Fakery of Being Positive
Your smile and laugh have changed, my brain biofeedback trainer told me today. They’re real, she said. It’s true, I’m not faking emotions nearly as much or using my intellect to boost them to normal levels like I used to have to. She’s known me since 2005, and I’ve gradually been able to laugh more…
Disconnection Ended Too Soon; PTSD Hell Continues
Well . . . I needed more than a week, technically 10 days, of disconnection. My muscle tension is down, way on down, but I’m still feeling on edge, still being totally overwhelmed by the stupidest thing to the point that my brain goes: nope, not dealing with that now, I’m turning the body around…
Time to Reconnect with Disconnection
I used to disconnect completely from the online world and computers for a week a couple times a year. I unplugged on Sundays for a long time before that and still do. But year in, year out, I used to push myself so hard I’d end up crashing and would also have to take a…
Brain Injury, Denial, Perspective
I have a habit of exposing reality to people’s faces, aka, pushing their buttons, even when I’m trying not to. “Oh,” I say breezily to one person with a long-standing brain injury, “your speech is like mine used to be.” “What do you mean?” comes the astonished, slightly angry reply. “Oh you know,” I continue…
Saying Farewell to my CCAC Therapist
This was the last week with my behavioural therapist from CCAC (Community Care Access Centre). I still find it a bit surreal. It’s like my brain is going, nope, not happening, don’t want to feel this upsetting change. At the same time I applaud her going for a promotion and pursuing more education in that…
Emotions Swirl, Need Processing, Brain Turns Off
Emotions swirl, need processing. They push against a resistant skin, demanding out but not identifying themselves. I poke and poke with therapy and music. They emerge in a storm that bursts and flees for a little while. But I haven’t experienced the full shut off for quite some time. Until I awoke Sunday morning. I…