Saying “no” is trendy in the self-care department. Especially in the for-women area. The axiom goes that women don’t care for themselves, want to please everyone, can’t say “no,” and end up sacrificing themselves and their goals. Kind of like Jesus, eh? Except somehow, though he said “yes” to every request, and sacrificed himself, he still met his goal.
Herewith, then, in line with marketing self-wellness are my top ten reasons to say “no.”
- Can’t move because I’m so tired.
- Pain so deep, my muscles won’t move.
- Spasms ratcheting up pain.
- Migraine inducing that lays me out for three days.
- A health care professional gave me an appointment at the same time, and when they call, you drop everything because their time trumps your time (except for clinics like BioFlex Laser Therapy Clinic). So much fun when specialists compete for the same time slot! Not.
- Can’t cancel the specialist appointment because I’ll have to wait months or another year for rescheduled one.
- Comatose from brain injury payback.
- Did I mention fatigue!
Giving lifts up your energy and your spirits. But even Jesus got tired of healing, teaching, leading, debating, protecting, all for others’ sakes not his own. He’d head off into the mountains for some alone time, knowing the masses of needy would come looking and eventually disturb him before he was ready to give again. Yet though he got impatient with them, he didn’t say, “Bugger off!” I think he sighed before recommencing saying “yes.”
The problem isn’t saying yes all the time, it’s knowing what your own goals are — versus what others want them to be — and having regular alone time (if always surrounded by people) or communion time with someone you don’t see in daily life but find restorative.
Jesus knew what his goal was, and he didn’t allow bossy elites to replace his goal with theirs. Instead, he used his own goal to teach them and the crowd while still responding to their demands. He debated them not ignored them. Jesus did have communion time with God in daily life, but his alone time was specifically about having focused restorative time with God. Who’s restorative in your life? Do you ensure you spend regular time with them or only slot them in when others don’t object or find ways to sabotage that time?
When you know what your own goals are — when you have the courage to go against what others want you to do as opposed to what you were created to be — then you can say yes in the way that meets your goals while still serving others. We weren’t put on this Earth to say yes to other people’s goals for ourselves instead of our own nor to serve just ourselves but to use our created gifts and trials and tribulations to serve others. Say “yes” to that. You’ll feel more at peace with yourself and even the ones who never stop mewling for your attention.