It’s not real yet, not in my mind anyway. Maybe when I crack open the tome, or more likely read the first email, I'll realise I have actually taken a step in a new direction.
To backtrack: way back when, I obtained a B.Sc. in psychology. I made it tough for myself by doing a specialist in it (more course requirements than a major) since I was really interested in almost all the courses offered. But by the time I graduated, I was sick of university and never wanted to see the inside of a school again.
After a year, I felt like my brain was atrophying, and I missed university. Since then and till my brain injury, I took a course a year, either at University of Toronto, George Brown, or Alliance Française. My brain injury put paid to that aspect of my life. Oh sure, I tried. I chose a 6-week course with no reading or tests or essays. All I had to do was show up. I was toast long before it was over, and I remembered not a thing from it.
But this year, I’ve had leaps and bounds of improvement. I’ve had some setbacks, but since I began gamma brainwave biofeedback, I've been brightening, perceiving my physical environment clearer, feeling my mind expanding, and despite my energy levels being nowhere near normal, have been able to do more cognitively speaking and even a bit physically.
I’ve had a goal for a long time that I haven't talked about much except maybe briefly with one or two people, and even then as in a rolling-eyes, no-way kind of way. But…
When three different people in a row talk to me on this as if I can do it, and one brings it up out of the blue, one I never spoke to about it before, I start to pay attention.
I'm still hesitant.
But I’ve dipped my toe in. No going back now.
I’ve signed up to take Oxford Continuing Education online course “Philosophy of Mind.” It’s going to tax my reading skills, and I'm quite nervous. I’ve accepted the fact that in order to do this I'm going to have to give up some stuff. None of the medical because they’re my ticket to better health, better functionality. My blogging though will have to take a leave of absence. I will blog once a week on gamma brain biofeedback. But that’s it (theoretically speaking).
The course ends at the end of November. Wish me luck!
