Feb 052013

Why do I have alpha waves intruding in my sleep? Don't know. What effect do they have? Not sure. Well, what do alpha waves do? (I ask the psychologist instead of the neuropsychiatrist.) Daydreaming, creativity, stuff like that. Is that it? Not sure. What else? Don't know. Why do you want me not to have higher-power alpha waves? Well, that’s not exactly it. We want you to feel what it's like producing more or less alpha (8 to 11 Hz brainwaves). And if you produce too much alpha, you'll go into daydreaming. That’s not good? No, because then you won't pay attention to what's going on around you. Huh? I don't daydream remotely as much as I used to. There’s no danger of me producing too much alpha! Or going into daydreaming mode. Or not noticing what’s going on around me. I need more daydreaming! Besides which, pre-brain injury I could daydream and still know what was going on and respond appropriately and immediately to questions. Isn't that normal? No. Oh. That meant you could multi-task before your injury. Boy could I ever. And I can't do that anymore either, not even with two tasks like listen to music and write at the same time. Sucks big time. I want my multi-tasking back AND my daydreaming. I need more alpha! I need more during the day and just before going to sleep so that I can get myself to doze off by telling myself stories. I miss that, dammit.

Feeling like crap during the what-does-alpha-feel-like screen – heavy chest, somnolent mind when alpha below threshold – makes me wonder if producing too little alpha leads to fatigue. I need to talk to the Director. OK. Sigh. But back to last year’s convo with the neuropsychiatrist … I wonder: is producing alpha wave intrusions during the night the price of creativity and imagination? Don't know. Sigh.